Monday, February 11, 2008

Airline Travel, aint it grand?

Oh airline travel.

I told you after Dentistry from the Heart (Which went great, by the way, everyone was great. My staff really took ownership of it. They worked so hard. The volunteers were awesome. The patients were even great. We saw about 100 patients and about 200 teeth. And we sent 35 people away. God was smiling on us on Friday) I had to jump on a plane. I was heading to Chicago for one day.
Plans were to get into Chicago about 10pm. I would have a couple beers with some friends and my brother, then go to bed. Next day, I would be in meetings all day until about 5pm. I had an 8 o’clock flight back home. Home at 11pm. Easy, right?
An aside on airline flying, I get to fly a good bit, I and I find people are at their worst when they are in airports. Everyone is in a rush and they don’t care who they run over to get to where they are going. People’s good graces go by the way side because “I have to get to where I am going.”
It is hard to be in a plane. People are used to their space and when you put people in a combustible situation they can either be more gracious or they can become idiots. I find people usually lean toward the ladder.
Boarding the plane. No, even before boarding there is this tension in the security. Hurry, hurry, I only have 2 hours to wait for my flight. Hurry. Why do I always rush through the security? People are trying to schlep 3 kids to Disney World, trust me I know how difficult this is, and I am saying, in my head, “COME ON.” And I only have two hours to go 200 yards.
Then we get to the gate and wait. Then finally the airline gatekeeper says, “Okay lets board section #1.” At this point why does every person that is going to be on the plane jam to the gate? Is it better to sit in a stuffy plane being smooshed in a tiny seat or hanging out in the airport with air conditioning and electric jacks? Is the plane going to leave without them?
What about the late guy, “Final call for Mr. Smith, this is the fourth and final call for passenger Smith.” Who the heck is this guy? Where is he? I get to my gate 90 minutes before boarding and this Smith guy just strolls on up 10 minutes after the plane is suppose to leave. The whole plane is ready to go and they call for this guy four and five times.
My favorite is, on arrival, when the plane comes into the gate, everyone jumps up. Where are they going? I was in row 25 and the plane dinged and everyone around me jumped up. It was 15 minutes before the plane emptied to the 25th row. Then when it was time for me to jump up the people behind kept pushing up and wouldn’t let me out. See what I mean, people turn into idiots.
Then everyone practically runs (me included) to the next thing which is the baggage claim. You know you do it to. Get the hell out of my way I have to get to baggage claim. Now what happens when you get to the baggage claim? Your bags are waiting for you when you get there right? NO WAY. You wait and feel like a huge idiot because you just worked up a sweat getting there.
You get off the plane and call your ride and say “I will be right there as soon as I get my bags”. Well inevitably it takes your bags about 30 minutes to come out and your ride has to circle around the airport about 10 times.

As you probably can tell my flight coming home was a colossal disaster. But after I wrote the story it was a blog that was too long. You will have to wait unit Wednesday to read about it. A cliff hanger….

Talk to you later this week

Something totally unrelated that my son said. I told you I laugh at them all the time.
We say things that we understand but if it is never explained to them they are free to interpret.
I am still laughing about this one. We went to a BBQ in our neighborhood and were on our way home.
We saw a house for sale and I told my wife they wanted 700 Gs for that house. Now Luke my 8 year old says, “G, what is that?”. So I go into G is for Grand. And Grand means 1000.
So he says “OH!! All this time I thought “G” meant Gajillion. I thought that house was for sale for 700 gajillion dollars. My wife and I about peed our pants. Kids, aren’t they great.


Anonymous said...

My trip to the airport, checking my bags, going through security and waiting at the gate was fine. The only problem was when we got on the plane in Chicago it was 0 degree. We could not take off because the tiolets were frozen. We had to wait 45 minutes. They wouldn't let us off and you couldn't use the restroom. I will not wait to go next time!

gatordmd said...

Thats hilarious. Just wait until trip was a bit more traumatic.

Buckeyedental said...

My best TSA story is I am traveling back to Tampa from seeing my brother in Indiana. He has a small puppy he can not keep so I am going to bring him home. Airline tells me no problem I get a small carrier for under the seat. Get to the airport I am chosen for the extra security check (all terrorist carry puppies). So have to get the dog out of the carrier go through bomb smelling machine with the dog in my hand. Then the pat down and shoe check all with the dog in my hand. Felt like asking if they wanted to do a rectal on the dog.
Fun at the airport
Have a great Day Kim Shaw


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