Keeping That Ever Elusive Work-Life Balance

You know how sometimes there seems to be a theme that weaves itself in and out of your daily life for a while? That’s been happening in my life recently. The topic? Work-life balance.

It’s one of those seemingly trite and definitely overused phrases that make some people (me) cringe. But the topic has come up so often lately that I felt perhaps I needed to honor it with some serious introspection.

As a woman who owns two different businesses, is married with adult children, is a part-time clinical instructor and lives on a farm with many loving animals and many responsibilities, how can I create balance? How can I maintain (ha!) my sanity?

Don’t get me wrong. This is by no means a gender issue. This is an issue that knows no demographic biases. At the end of the day, we all need a sense of balance.

If we are all in agreement on the premise that we all need a sense of balance, how do we go about achieving that? What can we put into place that will assure us that a balanced life will be the outcome? I guess if I really knew that answer, I would be in high demand on the talk show circuit. But, I’m not. As it turns out, I’m just trying to figure it out, too. However, I do have some tips based on the wisdom of age and my old friends, Trial and Error.

Have a Plan A, a Plan B, a Plan C and maybe even a Plan D
It sounds silly, I know. But, it has been the fact that I have back up plans for my back up plans that has helped to keep me sane. And, it keeps me from crying, “Woe is me,” and from pointing fingers (usually in the wrong direction) at who I blame for my problems. It’s too easy to make other people or situations wrong. And it serves no actionable purpose other than giving you a momentary sense of false bravado. If Plan A didn’t quite work the way you thought it would/should, put Plan B into effect without breaking stride. I’m not even talking about life plans here. I’m talking about something as trivial as running out of your favorite bonding agent. This should not even be a blip on your balance radar; Plan B should allow you to simply reach into the cabinet for the other bonding agent. And, for today, life didn’t fall apart!

Talk issues out with your trusted love circle
It turns out that Robert DeNiro was on to something when he talked about his circle of trust in the movie “Meet the Fockers.” You know who these people are in your life. Use them. Learn to open up and talk about the issues that are weighing you down. Share the burden so that you don’t tip the balance in your life. Keeping all of your concerns and worries inside will just let them build up to a point when finally something has to give. And I, for one, would not want to be around to watch that happen! Talk therapy works!

Set aside some alone time every day
I know, I know. I just went on and on about the value of talking about your concerns with someone you trust, and now I’m telling you to set aside some alone time every day. But, this is so vital to maintaining that fragile work-life balance. You need to be alone with your thoughts and meditate about the day’s events. Alone time can come in the form of workouts, walking the dog, even a cup of coffee first thing in the morning as you watch the sun peek out above the horizon. You can define your own version of alone time; just make sure you take advantage of it. It should be no less than 15 minutes and ideally 30-60 minutes. Think of it as a sort of reflection time to reevaluate your plans, issues and feelings. At the end of your alone time, you should feel somewhat refreshed and reenergized.

It’s not always easy to maintain that elusive work-life balance. The demands of both aspects of our lives are sometimes overwhelming and push us to the limits. But, if we can be mindful of these three tips, it may just make that balance a little bit easier to keep.

If you’ve got techniques that help you to maintain your work-life balance, I would love to hear them! Share them with us in the comments section below!

Meanwhile, here’s to a balanced life!
Claudia Anderson, DDS

Have Confidence

Do you believe in your fee? Are you worth that much? Or that little?

I took my team to the Pacific Northwest Dental Conference last weekend. We went to some great classes and had some fun, too. One of the instructors reminded me of something I need to improve: confidence. He said we should be confident in our fee. In order to present the treatment to our patients, we have to believe that is worth it. This reminded me of what I learned from Dave Ramsey last year at an EntreLeadership course.

He said that when someone pays another person for something, they are handing them a note of appreciation. (These notes happen to have presidents’ faces on them.) You have to believe that your service is worth that amount of money. If you had that service done, you would be happy to pay that much for it. If you and your team don't believe that, you cannot present a treatment plan confidently. And if you don’t believe it, you will probably communicate that to your patient, either verbally or through body language.

My wife reminds me to always tell my patients that this is the treatment that I would do for my mother or sister or wife. Only say that if it is true, of course.

If you don't believe in your fee, change it. If you don't really believe in your treatment, then take a course to build your confidence with that treatment or improve other skills. If your team is unsure of the treatment, take them to a course to increase their skills and knowledge.

Believe in your fee, and present it with confidence.

Mike Lemme, DDS

Do You Want to be in the Room?

Do any of you watch “The Bachelorette?” I never seen an episode before, but right now I am hanging out in a modest hotel room on a Community Dental Outreach rotation and of the thirty-five channels available, it seems like the lesser of all evils. All I can think is how unbelievably awkward it is watching her try to force a relationship with each of the guys. I can’t help but wonder if this is what my assistants experience while watching me work with a new patient for the first time. I’m tempted to hide a camera in the operatory to see how bad it is. But I digress…

“Do you want to be in the room?” Those were the first words out of the veterinary technician’s mouth when my future sister-in-law called the office to inquire about euthanasia for her aging Llewellin setter that they had saved several years before.

She was emotional and confused, and didn’t know if she wanted to be in the room. “Well, you need to know it’s $65 extra to be in the room while they do it,” the voice explained (this was in addition to the $300 base fee for the procedure). Needless to say, she found another office to help in this tough time.

There are undoubtedly good reasons for this veterinarian to charge the additional fee, but Laura felt like she was being taken advantage of while she was most vulnerable. When I heard this story, I couldn’t ignore the parallels to dentistry. The next time a potential patient calls with an emergency, how can you help him realize your office truly cares? We work hard and deserve to be compensated accordingly, but we also need to think about how our billing policies will be perceived by our patients. No one wants to feel nickeled-and-dimed!

David Coviak

Are We There Yet?

Like many of the dentists who have written for The Daily Grind, I had an idea for this blog, but it changed completely with the arrival of the mail today. I was happily greeted with a large AGD envelope marked, “REGISTRATION MATERIALS ENCLOSED.”

A year ago at this time, I was cramming to sit for the AGD Fellowship Exam. This year, I am excitedly preparing for the Fellowship Convocation. My ID badge arrived with two honorary ribbons: one signifying my 10-year anniversary as an AGD member and one declaring I am a 2013 Fellow Awardee.



I’ve written previously about working towards Fellowship, so today I want to focus on the Annual Meeting, only weeks away. First things first, it is NOT too late to attend the meeting. Online registration is still open! This will be my first time attending the AGD Annual Meeting & Exhibits. If your schedule doesn’t allow for it this year, reserve next year’s time now: June 26 to 29, 2014, in Detroit, MI (my home state!). Don’t worry. I’m fairly certain we won’t have snow then!

I have made a conscious decision to attend the conference every year. I hope you commit to doing the same. It is a great opportunity to not only fulfill needed continuing education (CE), but to network with your peers and have a good time, too. The AGD is wonderful about giving us fair warning, so add these dates to your calendar!

AGD 2015 Annual Meeting & Exhibits
June 18 to 21, 2015
San Francisco

AGD 2016 Annual Meeting & Exhibits
July 14 to 17, 2016
Boston

This year, I am doing it all. I am attending the AGD Annual Meeting for the first time, serving as course manager for several courses, and participating in Convocation. It has been an amazing and unforgettable year, and. I have learned so much during this journey.

The AGD has incredible CE programs available. Not only do they provide an opportunity every year to attend meetings that are packed with the best lecturers speaking on current trends in dental science and practice management, but they also provide periodic conferences on Practiceology and Leadership. These are skills they didn’t share in dental school. (Not that we would have had time to learn anything else after competencies, lab cases, exams, etc.) There is no doubt that we get to a point where the physical act of dentistry becomes second nature, but enhancing our ability to be a better practitioner/team leader/mentor is a lifelong process. So, no matter what “hat” you are currently wearing (owner, associate, student), the AGD has a class for that.

See you in Nashville!

Colleen B. DeLacy, DDS

More Similarities Than Differences

In the 70s, it was common for middle class kids growing up in Toronto to go to summer camp. I attended four different summer camps over the years, spending eight weeks away from home. The lakes in southern Ontario were great. They warmed up enough to swim comfortably on hot days when nothing could beat being near and in the water. Those camps were mostly all the same, getting kids outside and active all summer long. I wasn’t crazy about it then, but I sure miss those days now.

Today, summer camps are different. There are still the traditional camps I attended, but so many are specialized. There are sports camps, music camps, acting camps, etc. They run for one, two, or three weeks, but rarely the whole summer. The more I look at today's camps, though, the more similarities I see. These camps are simply trying to address a broader set of needs and to get kids outside and engaged.

Just short of 19 years ago, I married my wife and best friend, Tina. It was an interesting union of a Hindu family with a Jewish one. We live in a world with some amazing faiths and expressions of those faiths. The number of varieties of Christianity is wide and varied, not to mention Jewish and Muslim worship, Hinduism, Buddhism and more. We live in a fascinating world. But the more deeply I look, the more similarities I find. We are citizens of one world.

In the 1980s, the Faculty of Dentistry at the University of Toronto taught occlusion from the classic gnathological standpoint. Centric relation (CR) was the focal point for rebuilding worn or deficient occlusions and in denture fabrication. I really struggled with it and, in the end, avoided it altogether.

I worked conservatively, restoring teeth to the best of my ability, in habitual occlusion. I have been mostly successful for my now 26-year career. But I do see worn teeth, deficient dentition, collapsed bites and more. I knew that there was a way to do this and sought to learn more about occlusion. Over those 26 years, I studied the methodology of Pankey and Dawson, learned about OBI, Kois’ and Spear’s methodologies, and more. But as I stumbled upon neuromuscular approaches to dentistry, I found something that resonated with me. I studied this intensely, first at the Las Vegas Institute, and then directly with Myotronics, and finally, more recently, with Dr. Clayton Chan.

Occlusion has had considerable amounts of coverage in popular dental media. And now, better peer-reviewed publications as well. I continue to be amazed at the passionate discussions that are being held, as well as with the unfortunate animosity that has been associated with it.

I have had successes and failures in the pure gnathological CR approach, and I have had successes and failures in the pure neuromuscular approaches. But as I have studied and learned more, particularly with Dr. Chan, I have found there are more similarities than differences in the various occlusion camps. When I apply both the neuromuscular and the gnathologic approach, as I learned from Dr. Chan, I achieve the success in conservative treatment that I was not getting before, especially with patients who are in pain. I am a dentist in one profession of dentistry.

The best advice I have ever heard on this subject is from one of my prosthodontic colleagues in Calgary, Dr. Donald Reikie, during one of the local debates on occlusion. He said, “Choose the methodology that resonates for you. Learn it well and apply the principles diligently and meticulously and you will have success.”

Let’s use these words to apply our learned principles well and diligently and celebrate the similarities we have in finding healthy solutions for the patients we have the privilege to treat.

Thanks for reading.

Larry Stanleigh, DDS

Spousal Support

Before committing to a long term personal relationship or proposing for marriage, we, as dentists, should be very open with our future life partners about some of the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of our profession. Without our spouses’ support, the practice of dentistry would be much more challenging.

The Good
1. Dentistry is very rewarding in many aspects, and we are generally satisfied with our accomplishments.
2. Dentistry is not a vanishing profession and dentists are irreplaceable. Machines can mill crowns, but dentists will always be the biologic gatekeepers.
3. We can support ourselves and our families if our spouses elect to take a break.
4. We are real doctors and we do not have the highest suicide rate.
5. Dental conferences are held in fun places. When a conference brochure advertises for shopping, dining, and golfing along with dental courses, it is actually addressing our spouses.

The Bad
1. Five “dental” never last five minutes; they could run over an hour.
2. Lunch dates with our spouses could become a rarity, as we do not always have a full hour for lunch.
3. There a no spur-of-the-moment weeklong vacations. We need to plan at least six months in advance and we arelucky if we can take two weeks off at a time.
4. We are not always able to attend our kids’ activities at school during the week.
5. Although we do not perform life saving surgeries, emergencies come up in the evenings and over the weekends. We sometimes have to leave family events and attend to our patients’ needs.

The Ugly
We really need peaceful time at home so we can wake up energized, and this puts lots of pressure on our spouses. A typical day in a dentist’s office can sometimes be full of unpleasant surprises. A team member might call in sick or a lab case might not arrive on time. The dentist may run behind and the computers might not work. And the list goes on…

Let’s all have a great weekend; our families deserve it.This weekend, my wife and I are celebrating our anniversary.

Samer S. Alassaad, DDS

That Special Someone

Imagine this typical social scenario: A man spots woman at a party and strikes up a conversation. He learns she is unattached, further provoking his interests. She determines that he works in an office nearby, so she continues talking to gather more information. Business cards are exchanged and, before we know it, this couple is having their first telephone conversation, followed by a date. The woman is wined, dined, and showered with gifts. She does not know how she may feel long-term about her generous new friend, but knows she has to reciprocate soon if this relationship continues. Since this is a dental blog, we are not really talking about a “man” and a “woman.” The woman here is a general dentist and the male is a specialist.

In case you didn’t already know, NYC is crawling with dentists. We are literally everywhere. Most people need to look no further than their office building, which will probably contain a dental practice or 20 (I’m looking at you, 30 Rock). The economy has room for improvement, so dentists are more likely than ever not to refer their patients out of their practice. They want to keep the work in-house, by either doing the procedures themselves, or hiring specialists to do the work in their offices. Specialists here are desperate for referrals, kind of like that lonely guy at a party. Once they spot you, GP, you are their new best friend and the victim of a lot of attention, whether you like it or not. Unlike more rural towns, there are many kinds of specialists in all neighborhoods of this city, giving us GPs plenty of referral options.

What will make you refer your patients to a specialist? I think the number one reason is social connections. You may have friends that you went to dental school with that decided to specialize. You know them well and are confident in their clinical skills. You may make a new friend at a local dental society (which, coincidently, has a large specialist membership). Sometimes a confident and eager doctor will show up at your office and drop off some business cards. Here are tips when making these decisions, but feel free to use them for dating advice also.

1. Play the field. Don’t get tied down to just one person. You need to see what else is out there and having other options is important in case your current one does not work out.

2. Give them a chance. If someone has gone out of their way to get to know you, bring you gifts, or invite you to a party, do not blow them off just because you don’t know them or already have a doctor that you are referring to. Meet them for a drink and give them a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised.

3. Don’t be blinded by good looks and fancy gifts; personality will always win out in the end. I really appreciate it when I refer a patient to someone and I get a thank you email, letting me know the status of the patient and any other additional info. A bottle of wine is nice, but that does not assist me in the treatment of my patient afterwards. So, just to be clear, follow up with an email and then you may send over a bottle.

4. Remember that there are always other fish in the sea. The beginning of your GP-specialist relationship was great, but somewhere down the line, you began not getting the attention you deserved. If you are starting to feel like this, do not hesitate to start referring to someone that will treat you well.

My final piece of advice is for dental students. Sometimes dental school can feel a bit like high school. If you have your heart set on specializing, good grades and excellent recommendations are not the only thing you need. You also need to win the loyalty and support of your fellow students, most of whom will become the general dentists that you will be very eager to know when you finish your training. Start building those relationships early by attending social events and putting your best face forward at all times. The opportunity to build a great reputation in dental school is invaluable; don’t take it for granted.

On a different note, I am starting to think outside the box more and more in terms of finding interesting or relevant blog posts to write about on here. What do you guys want to hear about? I personally would like to know more about all the dentist parents out there and how they manage to raise their families and still make time for their work and their patients. I also would love to hear what some of your typical days are like. Do you work a standard 40-hour workweek or part-time? What is your favorite after work activity that to unwind after a long day? Don’t hold back—I would love to hear from you!

I wish everyone a great post 3-day weekend work week, and hope to see y’all in Nashville soon!

Lilya Horowitz, DDS