Wednesday, April 9, 2008



Well, I have been to Augusta National. I think I have a glow (like Moses did when he came down from the mountain).
My father and I got back last night at about 11pm (yes, I am working today, I have to work to pay off those tickets).
I want to tell you about it but I don’t know where to start.
The trip up to Augusta was good. It was about 6 and half hours but we MapQuested it, so even though we felt like we were lost at some points we stuck to the directions (it helped to see middle aged men with golf caps in the car next to you).
We got to Augusta about 7:30pm so we decided to go right to the course just to see the entrance.
Well there isn’t really an entrance. When you think Augusta you think a huge entrance with fountains and lights on a huge sign saying AUGUSTA NATIONAL. No so. It is just an entrance with a guard gate. The exit must be somewhere else because the entrance was no bigger than one side of the road.
So from the street you have no idea what is back behind the wall of trees.

So to the motel we went. This was a bit of a challenge because it is dark by this time, you are in a foreign place and there was construction everywhere.
We finally get to the motel after 3 phone calls to the guy at the counter (notice I didn’t say concierge). I thought we would never get there. My father and I have ZERO short term memory (I swear it is genetic). I hear my dad on the phone with the dude, “Go South on SR 20, take exit #194, go left and then take the second left. You say I can’t miss the hotel. Thank you so much sir, I guess I will see you in 5 minutes”. So dad what did he say, “He said, take exit #120 and we can’t miss it.”
“That can’t be right, we just passed exit #195, #120 doesn’t seem like 5 minutes away.” Do you feel my pain?
We get to the hotel (and I use this term loosely). I am looking at this place and asked my dad how he came to rent this place. He said, “I got it online. I did a search as the closest and least expensive place to the golf course.”
I can ‘t argue with this, this is probably what I would of done but this place is what Bart Simpson calls the Rusty Pelican. It was a roach motel.
So the dude at the counter says, “Okay one room with a king size bed.”
Visions of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles start coming to mind. “Those aren’t pillows!!”
I looked at him and then looked at the dude and said, “Do you have rooms with two double beds (Please God)?
“Yes” he said “but it is going to cost a little more.” As an aside he could have said it was going to cost $400 more and I would have paid it.
It was twenty dollars more. SOLD.
We dumped our stuff off and went out to eat. We went to Sticky Fingers Rib Shack. It was good and here is the first place where we came into contact with people.
People in Augusta are so nice. Everyone was excited to have us. We sat at the bar and had dinner. Being our first time we asked everyone questions about parking and such. They all wanted to help. Next thing you know we have two guys righting directions on a napkin telling us where the least expensive parking is.
Back to the motel, no problems this time, where we watched the second half of the NCAA basketball championship game. I am the only one that thought it was kind of boring without the Gators in it?
I was awoken at about 3:30am by my dad snoring. Now I am a light sleeper as it is but this was bad. He can really snore. (imagine if we were in a king size bed together). He sounded like Chewbacca with a chainsaw. There was no sleeping with that going on.
So I didn’t know what to do so I took all the covers and blanket and put myself on the floor next to the air conditioner. White noise.
Now this did drown out the snoring but now I was cold and I was on the FLOOR of the roach motel.
The wake up call came at 6am (which the night before sounded like a good time) and according to my calculations I slept about 4 and half hours.
We arranged for a round trip car service to pick us up. This turned out to be a great idea because we would leave the entire decision making up to someone else.
We got in the car and the driver said, “You are not going to bring that camera are you?”
I said, “Yes, everything I heard so far was that you could bring in a camera for the practice rounds and NOT for the tournament.”
He said, “I dropped someone off yesterday and there were signs that said NO CAMERAS.”
I ended up putting my camera back in the car in the parking lot of the motel.
We got to Augusta National Golf Course and we were so excited. We were early and they had us all waiting in line. Everyone that worked at the course reminding everyone NO CELL PHONES.
We were in line and funny thing, I was seeing a bunch of cameras. So asked someone in the know and he assured me that it was okay to bring in a camera. DAMN IT!!
I mean all I have seen so far was the parking lot and even it was nice.
I tried to put it out of my mind. I will think about it later. Let’s just go in and see what is up.
The first thing you come to is practically a strip search. Metal detectors that airports would be proud of.
The second thing after you get in was the gift shop. We had some previous advice, “Go to the gift shop first and buy all you want, check the bag and then don’t think about it again.”
We went into the shop and WOW. It had more Masters stuff than you could ever imagine. Now you have to understand. There is only one place to buy Masters stuff and that is at the Masters. So we loaded up. Shirts and a bunch of golf crap that all your friends would be jealous of. $500 later we were done with that (the guy at the register next to me bought $1200 worth of stuff, all before 8am). Double click on the image and you will see the gift shop at 7am.
Then it was off to the course.
I have three words to describe the course…OH MY GOSH.
I imagine this is what the Promise Land looked like to the Israelites (a land of milk and honey).
If you are not a golfer or a golf fan, the Masters is not all about the sport of golf. It is not just about Tiger and Phil or Jack or Arnie, it is about history. It is about beauty.
It is almost indescribable. The grass is perfect. But that is not all, the course is on rolling hills surrounded by blooming azaleas and dogwood trees. There is cascading water that just adds to the perfection.
The best part about it was my dad. He said to me, “Before I forget, I just want to say thank you (I bought these tickets for my dad for Christmas). I never thought I would ever get to see this.” He was like a kid. He kept OOHing and AWHing all day. A lot of “this is amazing” and “unbelievable” and “did you see that?”.
It is a place where not many people get to see other than on TV. It is a place where a 63 year old man can just walk around and just be at peace. It was a place where you can go and forget about work and just admire God’s creation (and what pesticides and millions of dollars can do with it). And it was cool to hear him on the phone telling his friends about it.

This is getting long so I will stop here.
I was able to get a ride back to the hotel and get my camera (fricking taxi driver).
So here are some photos.
I will tell you more about it on Friday.

Wow what a couple of days.
I am off to a baseball game then Bible study tonight. I have got to get some sleep.
Talk to you later,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


I know I'm sticking my nose under the tent, but please get your dear father to a sleep clinic (if he hasn't already been). It will do wonders for his snoring and oxygenate his 'vitals' like nothing else. I won't go most places without my CPAP.

Like reading your stuff. Keep Going, Grinder,

Kyle DeLoach


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