The Inquisition

I realize that I only have a handful of blogs left. This is putting a lot of pressure on me. I have been thinking about what to write for my last few blogs, and all this thinking has giving me writer’s block. I just don't think that any topic I write about is worthy.

I started reading all the past blogs. I thought about posting a “best of,” but I don't have time to read all of them. I just don't know. I guess I will just write what comes to my mind and one day I will be gone. It is kind of sad, but I just can't think.

I will give you an update on my lecturing. I have decided to redo my speaker packet DVD and have this drive the audience to my new lecture website. (Take a look at it and tell me what you think. It is still a work in progress. It is www.posteriorcomposites.com. Don't you just love the name?) I have my last planned gig for awhile in January, and that is it for now. So, I am going to have to get more jobs again. Ugh. This is a lot of work. I will keep you posted. I think I will blog from my site, but it is going to be very infrequent.

I want to talk to you about one of the things going on in my life. You all know I just bought out my father. He financed the second half of the buyout for me. When I bought the first half, I was also buying a house. I had a bunch of equity in the house, so I bought the first half of the office with the equity line from the house. Now I am paying off a first mortgage and a second mortgage.

A year or so ago, I wanted to refinance my house. I am paying 5.75% on a 30 year. This is not comparable to today’s rates. We did everything you are supposed to do. We locked in a rate and everything was sent to the bank. Well, after the appraisal of our house, it turned out that we owe more than what it is worth. That means we are stuck paying this rate.

Fast forward to now. I own my business outright and am paying a business loan through my personal account. I went to my local bank to get a loan to pay off my equity line and then start paying this office loan from out office account. This just puts everything where it belongs. It will also free up $150,000 equity in our home so we can refinance.

But this is not what the story is about. One stipulation that the bank made was that I get a life insurance policy on myself for the amount of the loan. Have you guys done this? What a pain. You don't just call the life insurance people and get insurance. Before they insure you, they want to know how healthy you are and if you are sick or not.

First, there was an 80-minute phone interview. They asked if I have ever had bronchitis (yes, when I was 9) and why I had a vasectomy. It was crazy. They asked any question they could think of to find out if I was healthy. They asked if I smoke. I smoke cigars, and it turns out that if you smoke more than 12 cigars a year, you are considered a smoker. It went on and on. The funny thing is that they did not, even once, did they ask me if I exercise.

They sent a nurse to my office to get a blood test, a urine test and height and weight. The nurse took my blood pressure and my pulse (78/118 and 56). I told her there was no way my pulse was 56. I am a marathon runner and my pulse hasn't been over 50 in about 5 years. I took my pulse and got 48. She said that if she wrote down 48, there was going to be a problem. It was too low. She wrote down 56.

Guess who called me the next day. The insurance company, wanting to schedule an EKG. The same nurse came in and said, "I told you so. Even 56 was too low."

Once again, nowhere on this form was a spot for amount of exercise or about how I eat. Anyway, it is going to take 30 days for the underwriters to review my application. Then I get the insurance. Then I get the loan. Then I get to refinance my house. c But the rate is going to be almost 3 points lower, and that is going to be huge. Then I will have all this nonsense paid off in 7 years. Next thing you know, I will be driving my cobra. I can't wait. Won’t I look good in that thing?

See you guys soon,

john