Monday! Are you kidding me? Four days to Thanksgiving. That means only four short weeks until Christmas. They say life is like a toilet paper roll: starts off going slow and then it just takes off. I believe that now.
It is fall (you wouldn't know it here, where it was 84 degrees yesterday) and there are tons of church fall festivals. It seems like I have been asked to be a part of them all. Most of the time I do it with a smile, but what gets me is when it is kind of a cold call.
Someone just showed up off the street and asked me to be a part of her thing. I told her how busy I am, but she wouldn’t have it. I bent for this woman because her church is right up the street (I think I told you about her a couple of weeks ago). Well, I did it last weekend and I want to tell you about it.
I got there a couple minutes late (being passive-aggressive) and found her and told her I was sorry. She said, "No problem. The guy before you was having AV problems so he is running a little late."
It looked like he was just getting started and it was 8:15pm on a Friday night. So we (my wife, my two oldest boys and I) took our seats and listened. This guy was unbelievable.
He is a chiropractor. I know the opinion about this profession is very polarizing, but I don't want to get into that today. He talked about eating right. He was definitely speaking my wife’s language, talking about how the foods nowadays are running us, how obesity is running rampant, how kids are eating a bunch of crap that is literally killing me. My wife was nodding her head in agreement.
I have to tell you: most of his stuff didn't sound too off. He was very animated, jumping up and down with a lot of hand motions. He is a conspiracy guy too. “The government, man. The government wants to force us to have to use modern medicine to treat cancer”. He was citing studies on how chemotherapy will kill you.
He has 6 kids and they live on a farm, and the whole family eats only what they grow. They all have chores: picking vegetables, feeding the pigs, churning butter and whatnot. My wife was totally digging this. Preservatives are bad. MSG is bad, Additives are bad. I get all that. I get that natural stuff is better, but I think he was just going a little over the top.
He talked about how we need to eat more bran and oatmeal in the morning and then spelled out what a good diet looked like. He talked about how if you are eating right you start having more bowel movements. Awkward! Not only was he talking about bowel movements, he was giving them adjectives. Great bowel movements.
Then he started to get a little weird (if the above was not weird enough). He said he doesn't carry health insurance for his family. They eat right and they exercise, so why would they need it? This is when I started giving my life the look. He went on to say that he doesn't teach his daughters how to do a self breast exam because that is backwards thinking. "Why would I teach them how to do something that is backwards? You do the right thing first, then you don't have to worry about breast lumps."
He was saying this with just as much passion and arm-swinging. I looked over at my wife and the head-nodding had stopped.
And then, "I went to the dentist…" Okay, here we go. "I needed a wisdom tooth out. I told him I didn't want any anesthetic."
He said the dentist said, "Chris, I am going to have to cut your gums and drill some bone away."
He told the dentist that he trusted him. "I have a relationship with him. I know he loves me and I love him. It is going to be okay. And then I had my tooth out!" I looked at my wife and she was in a full head shake.
He finished up and I had to go after him. Being the smart aleck that I am, I couldn't leave well enough alone. "I totally agree with loving your dentist. And if you come to my office, I am going to love you like Dr. Crazy (not his real name) says, but I am going to love you with lots of anesthetic." I went on to say that I am glad I am dentist because in all my schooling and in my 16 years of practice I have never had to say “bowel movement.”
We talked on the way home we talked. I was okay with the natural stuff and trying to take less medicine, but the guy lost all his credibility with the insurance and anesthetic stuff. I don't care what you say, modern medicine is good. My wife didn't know what to say. People are crazy.
Have a great week. Don't get rid of that insurance just yet.