I hope things well with you. Things are going pretty well here. I love what I am doing. I just have to tell you that I love doing dentistry. I know that I sometimes I can get on a negative streak, but I love what I do for a living. I still get up and get excited about going to work.
I saw a couple of movies this week. The kids were off this Monday, so I took them to the dollar theater and to see “Zookeeper.” It was pretty good; I think the talking animal thing has already been played out and so has that storyline, but Kevin James is just funny.
I also watched and old movie with John Travolta and Robin Williams, “Old Dogs.” In the middle of the movie, I said to my daughter, "I think this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen." Maybe I was exaggerating a bit, but it was so bad.
I met with the graphic artist again yesterday. We put the finishing touches to the tri-fold packaging that is going to hold the DVD. I am so excited about it. The lecture thing is again what I want to talk about. I think about it all the time. I think about what I want to say. I think about the outline.
But last week, I started doubting myself. I was beginning to think that I don’t have what it takes. I know that it is not true, but when I start thinking about myself in front of other dentists and them talking, I start to think like my worst critics. “He is not smart enough.” “He doesn't know enough about all the products.” Stuff like that.
Look, you and I have been to tons of lectures and half of them really stink. I am just trying to give a lecture that doesn't stink and is entertaining. I want to be entertaining enough that people to look up and say, "Hey, that is good stuff.” And, as I told you, I love doing this and maybe my lecture would help some others love it too.
Anyway, while I was thinking I am not good enough that I don't know enough, I decided to add that to the lecture. At the beginning of the lecture, I have a section that describes who I am; I am a dad, husband, coach, sports fan.
But I think I will talk about who I am not. Does that make sense? I started thinking... Who am I not? I am not a lot of things, and I think my audience should know that. I can tell them right away that I am just a dentist, a dentist that works in the office 45 hours and has limitations as an expert.
I am not Gordon Christensen. I am not a guy who runs a multi-million dollar business that researches products. I don't have a PhD in biomaterials. I am not a prosthodontist.
I am not John Kanka. I am not a guy creates products. I don't have any relationships with companies that let me go to their labs and work with their experts to change the makeup to create higher bond strength. (I can't even get a company to call me back.)
I am not John Burgess. I am not the head of a biomaterials department of a major dental school. In fact, I don't even know what the particle size is in a nanohybrid. I don't read any biomaterials journals. I wouldn't even know what they were saying if I did read them.
I don't know all the bonding agents out there (did you know there are over 100 bonding agents?) I don't know all the composites (there are a bunch out there). And of course, I don't know all the properties of all the composites.
Does that disqualify me from doing what I am going to do? All my research is in the chair; that is as close as I get to a lab. I read dental journals but forget most of the stuff I read in about 5 minutes. The only relationships I have with companies involve me calling to ask questions. I call my biomaterials teacher from dental school who loves to talk about things like elastic properties.
See why I doubt myself? I am not an expert on anything. I know I am not going to be able to field all their questions about this flowable composite or the polishability of that resin. I don't know the C-factor is or why it is important to us. I don't know the best way to incrementally fill a large composite (and neither do the experts).
Does all this disqualify me from lecturing? I sure hope not. But I think my strong point is I think I am just like you guys. I probably do more fillings than most of the guys that I mentioned above. I do the best I can, and I am passionate. I love doing it and I think I do a pretty good job at it.
Does that qualify me to do this? Well, we are sure going to find out?
Let me know your thoughts.