Gray

Greetings,

I was finishing up a root canal on a long-time patient of mine yesterday. After my usual post-op speech, I was walking out of the operatory and happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. I know I’m not going crazy, but I don’t remember having this huge patch of gray hair. It literally looks like someone hit me upside the head with a bag of flour. I’m not kidding. I didn’t look like this last week, I’m sure of it. This is all happening at a supersonic rate and I’m pretty sure who to blame it on — my kids.

I have all girls. That sentence alone should be enough to explain the hair. Trying to keep up with different boys is exhausting. Looking back, I could have avoided all this worry and stress by never potty training them. Think about it: supplying them with diapers for the rest of their lives is a small price to pay if I don’t have to fight off boys. I can’t think of a better deterrent than having to help “change” your date in the middle of a movie. I can just imagine the look on the boy’s face when I hand him a diaper bag and say, “Here, you are going to need this.” I would have never had to worry about finding diapers that fit; they go from stages to pull-ups to Depends. We can even go green and just hire a diaper service that delivers cloth ones! The landfill would appreciate it.

I will admit that the “driving lessons” added a little speckle of white on the old roof top, too. I don’t know how many more times I could have said, “Stop stop STOP STOP STOP STOP!”

Perhaps, it’s all part of life: slowly losing your gut lining to the point that prune juice is the only thing that will stay down. I mean, when you think of girls, you think of “sugar and spice and everything nice.” To be honest, it has been nice. I wouldn’t change having my girls for anything. There are a wide range of emotions I have gone through (and still go through); from “beaming with pride” to “what have I done wrong?” Even though they are totally different, they each add to my gray in their own lovely little way.

Bill Cosby once said, “Gray hair is God’s graffiti”. He must have gotten me when I wasn’t looking. (Or maybe I was looking.) Below, you can see the lightning bolt of gray on the right side of my head. I will probably look like a Q-tip by the time they get married, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Have a great week!

Scott