Mean people suck

What up?

I forgot to tell you Wednesday that, on Monday, I did go to another office. I told you I would. I am formulating ideas for a couple of blogs because of it. I talked to my wife and she has given me the "go ahead" to take a couple of hours on a Monday and do it a couple more times.
It definitely was a good experience. Has anyone ever done this?
If you have please tell me about it.

I took my son (who doesn’t have school tomorrow) to see Transformers II last night.
The first Transformers was very good. It was PG-13 but there was nothing that a 8 year old couldn’t see, more like machine violence. This one was PG-13 and they were really pushing it.
Language, sex, violence. I was watching this movie like, “you have to be kidding me.”
It started at 9:15. It was over 2 and a half hours and it sucked. I fell asleep in the middle. Even Luke, who couldn’t wait to see this movie, said, “Dad, that movie was not very good.”
Luckily we only paid a $1.50 (and it wasn’t worth it).

On Wednesday I talked about how this economy has helped companies put service into perspective. They are finding that people want to feel good when they are spending their money.
Now today’s topic is kind of going to be the opposite.
I wanted to talk about the bad that this economy brings out in companies and people.
(by the way, another good thing about this economy is the mortgage rates are down…we are refinancing our house and we just locked into a 15 year note at 4 and 3/8. Are you kidding me? Our 15 year payments are going to be lower than our 30 year payment. Yeah baby. You should talk to your banker to see if it is a good time for you).
Focus John
Have you noticed how this economy is affecting your patients? They are certainly more crabby. I mean I get it, you can’t afford your electric bill and then your tooth breaks. This doesn’t lead to a pleasant experience for anyone at the dental office. I totally understand. It is just not the right time for this.
I try to be as understanding as possible and sometimes try to help them put off expensive treatment until things get better in their household but…what is going on at home should never make people down right mean.
I know it is tough out there; shoot it is tough in here.
You can always tell about someone’s character when the rubber meets the road.
When times are tough, how are you going to treat people? (I am not talking about how you treat your family because family always gets the worst of you [I know what you are thinking. Oh that is not right John that you go home and your wife and kids get the worst of you. Well it is what it is. I try to be cool when I get home and put on the dad hat and the awesome husband hat but must of the time I am exhausted when I get home. It is hard and it take a lot of energy being the great care free, high charisma dentist that I am]).
When you don’t have any money how do you treat people at the grocery store? At the bank?
Now who am I talking about? This economy is hitting everyone. The person who has a Toyota Tercel could have issues, the person with an S class Mercedes, the person on a motorcycle. Making those payments are just a little harder.
But are you going to be nasty to the car mechanic when your air conditioning needs to be fixed?
I can say this because as someone who offers a service, there is a tendency for me to be on the wrong end of this nastiness.
It is not everyone; I just think that when people are mean and they try to hide it and then their world starts to cave in…the true meanness comes out.
My wife is kind of one of those people. She gets upset with service people (I love my wife like crazy) because they followed through with a policy.
(And do you know why I don’t take care of the money in my house? Because at the end of the month I was like on a rampage. I was a jerk to everyone.
So now my wife does it and I can call her out on my blog).
I have to calm her down every time the tuition is due.


So let’s take this to companies.
My sister tried to take an item back to Wal-Mart. She bought a TV on an impulse that she didn’t need. Three days later she had buyer’s remorse and brought it back. In the UNOPENED box with the receipt.
They didn’t want to take it back. Now if you don’t know my sister, she is a total Italian spitfire and she was not leaving that store without her money back.
She said that she was doing yard work and for a break went down to Wal-mart to return this TV. She did admit that she looked really ragged. Now they gave her the hardest time.
At first they just said, “No.”
Then a non-yelling discussion ensued. Two other managers came over and she is thinking to herself, “What is the problem here? I have an unopened box and the receipt.”
But you have to understand that Wal-Mart probably has been dealing with so much theft. They have to be on their toes all the time. In the store, changing rooms, at the return desk, at the cash register; I bet it is bad.
So bad that they basically harass a normal customer. You have to treat everyone like a criminal so you get screwed less.
Before she got her money back they ended up having to open the box to make sure she wasn’t bringing back a box of rocks.
I don’t know the answer.
What I do know is we need to check ourselves. I know that treating people nasty is wrong, especially if they are just doing their job.
I know that I have to check myself all the time. I am constantly working on my character. It isn’t easy because most of the time you want to either cry or jump over the counter and strangle someone.
I think it is funny that one of the prayers I pray is that God will make me the person that people think I am.
We all put on this show all the time. I want to really be the person I am during my show.

Okay I felt like I was rambling the whole time. So I will end it here.

Have a good weekend.
Don’t be mean to people, it is not their fault.
Maybe this weekend, surprise them and be nice to them. I can tell you they won’t be expecting it.
John

I have been loving Dr. Ric’s videos. Here is one I found.
http://www.thejaylenoshow.com/video/clips/the-dan-band/1164139

Home Depot

Hey all,

I am writing this for the second time. I was trying to move my posting to a Word document and poof it was gone.
Then it took me awhile to get my foot out of monitor and now here I am.
Things, as you might imagine, are busy at the Gammichia's. It has been awhile since we have had a newborn in the house.
David, who is 10 days old today, (isn't that crazy having a 10 day old in the house) and who is a very good baby, makes a lot of noise. Now for you parents who have forgotten and for you people that don't have any kids, babies make a lot of noise. It is hard to explain, but it is not a cry it is just a lot of grunts and hisses and nose and mouth stuff. It is not that bad to a well rested human being but to someone that hasn't slept in about a week, it is a little tough.
You just want to yell, "Will you just SHUT UP and sleep."
One of the things we are dealing with at our home is the other kids.
I mean just because you have a baby doesn't mean that Luke isn't going to have some sort of quiz and/or test every day. It doesn't mean Madison will stop wanting to swim and Noah will stop wanting to ride bikes.
I have made it a point to make sure the other kids are taken care of. I want these kids to be excited about having a new baby brother not resentful.
I will let you know how it goes.

I watched the Count of Monte Cristo this weekend. It was better than I thought and that is all I have to say about that.

I finished my book this weekend...finally. It was called the Power of One.
It was a long book, and it took me forever but I stuck with it. Also the reading time at the Gammichia house has significantly gone down.
At the beginning of the book, as a kindergartner, he was being picked on by a bully. So he took up boxing. And since then he wanted to be the Welterweight champion of the world. This was the theme of the whole book; they must have said it 1000 times. This was his goal through elementary school and high school. He boxed competitively for at least fifteen years and never lost a fight. It was like the crescendo was building and you feel like it was going to be this Rocky ending. But it went to another story line and they just ended.
It was weird. Like the author looked at the book and said, "hmmm. This book is getting long let's just end it." (I know, kind of like some of my blogs).
It was pretty good though.

I have already started another book called Tweaked. It is a much faster read.
Remember I read a book called the Beautiful Boy. This was a book about a father who is dealing with a kid that is on Meth. The story from when his son was a boy getting in trouble for drinking at nine years old to in and out of rehab when he was 15. And the torture it is on the whole family. It was a great book.
Now Tweaked is the son, the addict, writing a book from his perspective.

Okay Home Depot.
I don't know about you, but I love Home Depot. Not just like but LOVE. I have really thought about getting a job there over the weekend because I just love stuff.
My wife loves going to the grocery store and I love going to Home Depot.
Now I am not a technical guy. I am not someone that fixes things. I am not someone that builds things. But I want to be.
My father never did anything like this.
My father never fixed things. He never built things. He never did anything.
I, on the other hand, do or try to.
I lay sprinkler systems. I put up shelves. I hang hangers. I have now tried to do more wood working. Now that I have a garage, I built my own work bench. I love love love it. But enough about me.
About a year ago I started noticing something about Home Depot. I started the think it was really going downhill. I would go there and there wouldn't be a single employee around.
I would literally walk around looking for help, and when I did find someone they would say, "let me get Bill who is suppose to be in charge of this department."
Things were not in the areas where they should be. I was starting to get ticked because Home Depot is my store.
I even started to go to Lowe's more (which is right across the street) but I felt like I was cheating on my lover.
But in the last couple of months Home Depot is changing back to the store I fell in love with.
(Now this maybe just me being weird because I asked my assistant and she said she hasn't felt any difference)
Home Depot seems to have recommitted itself to service. Now I am not talking about service but real service.
There is people everywhere just smiling. There is someone standing at every aisle greeting you as you walk by, hoping you are coming into their aisle so they can help you. Staff coming up to you asking if they could help you.
I went in the other day and asked if they had such and such and the guy walked me to the item.
The store is clean. Every item is in place. People smiling. People willing to help.
Lots of "Thank yous" and "your welcomes" and my personal favorite, "it's my pleasure".
Now I am thrilled by the sudden turn around.
I am thrilled that Home Depot started to realize it is not just the stuff in the store that makes people want to come to their store. It is the people.
Just ask the Ritz-Carlton. It is not just the room. Yeah it is nice but The Hilton has a soft bed and a flat screen too.
It's the guy opening the door saying "welcome." It is the porter smiling. It is everyone there with the same MO, that makes you feel welcome and want to spend the extra money to have that feeling again.
Now I get that feeling when I am buying a $.28 pvc coupler.
I am super sensitive to good service because that is what we do at our office. SERVICE ABOVE SELF.
And it is not just Home Depot. I went to McDonald's the other day. Now I haven't been to McDonald's in forever but I was having lunch with Noah at his school and he hasn't stopped talking about this toy that they give...a docugon or something like this.
The woman took my order and said, "Thank you so much for your order. I look forward to serving you at the first window."
WHAT??!!!!
She was so nice. This was an experience that I won't soon forget. I just sit and think about how great that was.
Are you doing this at your office? Are you making people remember you?
Are you forgetting what people are coming to your office for? If you said to get their teeth fixed, well then you are missing half of the equation.
They want to feel welcome. They want to feel special. They want to know that you care about them and their teeth.
If you are not, this is your wake up call.
Make them fall in love with your office again. I don't care if it cost a little money. I don't care if you have to stay after work and do something. Have a front office meeting and charge people up. Do it now. Your practice is depending on it.
Service...Live it, love it, breathe it, sleep on it, think about it.
Home Depot did.

Have a great Wednesday,

john

Bizarro World

Have you picked up on the fact that my life is a little duller than Dr. Gammichia's?

Here is what I did this weekend: Friday I went to an area business for a health fair and gave out sage dental advice and toothbrushes. That afternoon I worked my crossword puzzles, played with the kids, and then went to a concert with my 4-year-old daughter (Addison Road and Sanctus Real).

Saturday my wife and I painted our kitchen and one of the walls in our living room. I say my wife and I but really mean my wife. I sanded and primed, she painted. We have lived in this house for 6 years and have finally figured out what colors to do and now have the time to do it. It is amazing what a little color will do to a house.

Quick flashback story:

When my oldest daughter was about 3, we were over at a friend's house who is an Anesthesiologist. They have a beautiful home that is professionally decorated. My daughter looks around the house and asks me, "daddy, why are their walls not white?" Obviously I could only respond that it was because they couldn't afford white walls so they had to settle for custom paint schemes and textured wallpaper. Ahhhh, what children notice.

Back to the real world: painting took all day and then we built a fire in the fireplace (to celebrate the first 32 degree weather of the season) and ate some pie that I got at Perkins (Peanut Butter Silk and Caramel Apple). Sunday was church in the morning, Chiefs breaking my heart again in the afternoon (which in a bizarro twist had them playing as the Dallas Texans - in Kansas City, grrrr - even my wife and daughter thought that was a very bad idea), and Rummikub with the kids that evening. Yep, I lead a magical life.

Now let's go to bizzaro world and see how that weekend would have been if it happened to John:
Friday - was invited to be the featured speaker at a large multi-national corporation's health presentation titled, 'Implants in the 23rd century - why no one should ever get a bridge'. That afternoon I ran 20 miles with only one shoe on. On Saturday, I single-handedly delivered our new baby while driving to the paint store to get paint for the kitchen. I then painted the kitchen while I consulted with Tim Tebow on what mouthguard he should use to prevent concussions. After painting the kitchen in Gator orange and blue (good catch by the AGD staff, as evidence of how much I like all schools Florida-related I had the colors as orange and green) I watched them roll over LSU and celebrated by running another 20 miles. Church on Sunday and kids in the afternoon. . .
The funny thing is, John and I have a lot in common - he is just so much more eloquent in his presentation of it.

It has been a good week for me, pretty even-keeled. I think it helps when you have great patients that are really appreciative of the quality of work that you do. Isn't it amazing how we let that get to us. I am an excellent technical dentist, I know that, but ask me after a 1 surface posterior composite on a squirmy adult patient with an uncontrollable tongue that is so large that you question how they are able to close their mouth and who doesn't care that the filling is perfect, they are just mad that they owe $20 and I will tell you that I should be practicing on the streets in a 3rd world country. Maybe the years will temper the highs and lows, right now I just enjoy the highs when they are there.

Before I leave, I must pass along this video. It has nothing to do with dentistry directly but since we are often in the "beauty" business I think it is important to have such a vivid reminder of what our perception of beauty really requires. It is also a video that I highly recommend showing to any young ladies (I talked about it with my 11 year old this weekend).


Well, the voices are telling me that I have to 'go to work to earn an honest dollar to buy a loaf of bread' (thanks Great-grandaddy Scott) so I better listen. Have a great week.

ric

Damn it, I am going to do it.

First and foremost I want to say I am sorry for the text problems on the last two posts.

I told you we at the AGD blog room are trying to give you the best blog possible. That means I write it and save it. Then it gets looked over, by the AGD staff, to make sure a couple of things. That we uphold the standard of the AGD, we don't hurt any one's feelings (I wish I had this a couple of years ago), and grammar and spell checking.

But blogger.com has some issues with the Saving and Editing process.

It seems every time I go back to a post it puts a space between each line. That means if you go back to it twice it will have a triple space between each line.

So I have to go down, delete a space, go down, delete a space...and so on. So two blogs ago I was half way through deleting spaces and accidental hit the ENTER button and it posted the blog.

Then on Wednesday I wrote the blog in WORD (windows) and then cut and pasted it onto Blogger.com. It looked great and then I posted it. Then looked at it and it was one complete run on paragraph.

It is kind of embarrassing for us but we promise we are working on it. We will get better.

As promised photos (double click on it and you will see actual size).



If you notice the IV in his hand. I forgot to tell you about some of the drama.

When he was born everyone was saying the word "merconia" or something like that.

Apparently, the baby can go poo-poo in the fluid he is surrounded by.

So he got the poo-poo water in his mouth.

This could be a big deal. So he had it in his mouth.

So like father like son...his is going to have a potty mouth (my assistant says, "He's a Gammichia, he will eat anything.")

So they whisked him away and did all these tests on him. His oxygen stats went below a certain threshold, and they took him to the "transition" room. This is one nurse per two babies. They give him straight oxygen and put him on antibiotics (hence the IV).

Then they watch him to see if he was going to crash or get better.

In both places they reassured me that everything was fine and this was just a precautionary measure. They said he looks great, and he should be back up in the regular nursery by the end of the day.

Well he was fine, and he was back in the regular nursery in 6 hours.

This is when he got his first bath (I asked the nurse to put his hair in a Mohawk), and I put his Gator clothes on.



Note all the back hair...real nice.

Okay I will talk about teeth today.

I was talking to my periodontist the other day. He says his schedule is not totally full.

Like, he said, next week I had a big opening in the morning on Wednesday and the afternoon fell apart.

I told my staff not to schedule me for the day.

I said, "What are you going to do?" He said that he was going to visit another periodontist office in West Palm (about 3 hours in a car). He said he doesn't get to see how others do perio very often.

I started to think what an awesome idea this was.

And I started to think that you don't need to be slow at the office to do this.

You all may know that I don't work on Mondays. This is probably the greatest thing I have ever done. I work about 44-48 hours a week. I just do it in 4 days.

And usually I don't have a thing to do on Mondays. (I mean, work wise. I spend quality time with the family. Go for a walk with my wife. Shop. Hang out with my friends at Home Depot. Go to the movies. Sit around and do nothing which is good for the soul).

I have time to do this.

I have talked to one of my dentist friends about office shadowing. Meaning, I would like him to come to my office, observe and see what he thinks about the way we do things (and vice versa).

How we greet people. How we bring people back. How we collect. How we do our Recare system. How we answer the phone. How we deliver treatment plans. How we run a morning huddle. How my staff interacts with one another. How my staff uses their down time. How we work our schedule. I can go on forever.

I am not talking about spending a lot of time. I am talking about a couple of hours. I am not going to ruin my day off. I am not going to cut into family time.

I think it would be so great for both parties. I think if I went to someone's office, whom I respected and wanted to learn from, I can get so much out of it. I would see how other people do it. I would learn how to evaluate his/her office, which would help me evaluate mine.

I gotta tell you I am not a good evaluator of my own practice. I mean I am kind of busy when I am here. I get in at 6:45 am and do dentistry and put out fires all day and then go home at about 5 pm. I don't get a lot of time to listen to the way my staff answers the phone. I don't have a lot of time to think about our systems.

I don't ever get to observe.

I mean I think about it a lot but...

Don't you all think this should happen?

Have you ever done it?

Well damn it...I am going to do it.

You know what I am going to do also, is I am going to pay my staff to do it too. I think we can learn so much from other's ideas. And one of my biggest problems is seeing something and communicating what I saw to my staff. So I think sending my staff will be even better.

I feel like all I want to do is be a good, successful dentist. I want people to want what I have to offer. I want to deliver a service that is second to none. But I don't know if I am doing this.

I can go to 100s of CE courses and it doesn't mean crap if it doesn't make my office run better. It doesn't mean anything if my systems are not right. If I am losing more patients than I'm bringing in.

So why haven't I done this?

I have to think I don't want to know if I am doing it well.

I am not bankrupt, and I guess that makes me feel successful. I don't want to change. I have always thought I do, but when it comes to the rubber meeting the road...I just sit here and write.
Well damn it, I am going to do it.

I am going to call a bunch of dentist I respect (if I don't call you don't get all paranoid) and tell them I am going to come to their offices for a couple of hours on a Monday. I will drop the kids off at school and in the time I usually come home and do nothing I will just observe someone's office.

That is it. Just sit and watch. This is not hard. If the dentist is drilling, I will be watching the staff. If the dentist is not busy, I will pick his/her brain.

Easy peesy.

Then what I might do is start something. I work on Fridays and most dentists don't. So that will open up some time for them to come to my office.

I am so excited about this.

I am doing this. But this Monday might not work for me. See I have a newborn at home. I am a bit behind on my reading, and I have a bunch of Netflix movies just sitting on the curio.

I told the kids I would go to their school and have lunch with them.

See what I mean...Damn it, I am going to do this.

Have a good weekend,

John

I know I have not talked about Tim Tebow and the Gators in awhile. I have really been in prayer for about 13 straight days.

It is going to be a great weekend. The Gators will be fine.

Oh, by the way, have you been watching the weather lately. It was 94 degrees yesterday here.

This weather sucks. I am running 20 miles tomorrow. I am sweating just thinking about it.

A child is born

Hi all,

I interupt this blog to introduce you to David Victor Gammichia.
He was born Saturday morning at 4:50am. 7lbs 12oz, 21 inches. Brown eyes, brown hair on his head and his back.
He is the cutest little thing. And you know what is great is he has really got that crying thing down pat.
Okay here is how it happened. Friday afternoon I was coming home from work and Hilda says she started to bleed. I decided not to run my errands and started home.
She calls me 2 minutes later saying, "Not to worry the Dr. said to just get off your feet".
So I went to the bank and I off to the running store and I got a call.
"My water just broke."
Back to the car and hauled-butt home.
I get home and my wife is hunched over the sink in the kitchen....DOING THE DISHES.
I said, "What are you doing?"
She said, "These dishes are driving me crazy."
I start into her, "Did you get your bag?"....NO.
"Did you get someone to watch the kids?"....NO.
"Did you...? NO. Did you...? NO"
You are going to have this baby in the back of my truck and you are not going to have any clothes to wear but at least the dishes will be clean.

So off we went to the hospital. 5 o'clock traffic and I am freaking out.
We get to the hospital and the only way to park at this hospital is to valet. It is $5. Between my wife and I we had $0.
So we drive up and there and the guy looks at me and I tell him I don't have any money. He tells me that there is an ATM inside. I went to the ATM while my wife is having a baby in the parking lot but they needed their $5.
The ATM was temporary out of service.
I said you guys are either going to have to leave it here or park it but I am not going to deal with this now.
We went in the hospital and were triaged. My wife said to the admission person, "I have had the flu all week."
You would have thought she said, "I have a bomb."
Because as you might know the swine flu is affecting pregnant woman and in Orlando two woman have died in their later stages of pregnancy. And we were at Winnie Palmer hospital which is a hospital for woman and children.
So for the next three days in the hospital it was like constant HAZMAT.
That was Friday night and David was born on Saturday morning at 4:50am.
When he was born it was everything I could do not to flat out bawl. I was so close to losing it about 50 times this weekend.
You go 9 months worried that everything is going to be alright and when it finally is alright...you just are too spent to celebrate so you cry.

It was a long night.

At about 2am she was tested for the swine flu and it came back negative but my son was diagnosed with the swine flu on Friday morning. So since she was in contact with Noah she couldn't hold the baby. She couldn't be next to the baby. See there is no medicine for babies with swine flu.
But the weird thing was I was able to do and go where ever I wanted. I could got into the nursery and hold the baby, I could feed the baby. I could go into Hilda's room and hang out with Hilda.
Hilda couldn't even leave the room.
So they sent her tests off for tests and the next day it came back positive for swine flu.
So for her to be able to touch David she had to be on the meds for 48 hours. Luckily she had started the meds before we went to the hospital (she was feeling so crappy she had just went to the doctor that afternoon). So Sunday all the stars were aligned and the staff let little David come into the room for the mother/son reunion.
Well, I don't think he has stopped crying since.
I don't care how many kids you have and I don't care how "with it" you think you are. You never get use to that cry.
When you hear that cry your blood pressure goes up.
So you go through the checklist.
Diaper change...check.
Has he slept....check.
Did you feed him...check
Then if you go through all that and he is still crying you are soooo up a creek.
So you try the swing. Now it has been almost 6 years since we have had a swing and let me tell you these swings really swing. You crank that baby up to 9 out of 10 and he is swinging so hard he can't cry.
Now if he still cries, refer to handout that says.....DON'T SHAKE YOUR BABY.

So it is so surreal at my house. I am trying to just not screw-up. I know, I know I have had 9 months to prepare.
You are doing homework with the older kids and you hear this blood curling cry. We are eating dinner and the baby cries.
I think about how great three kids were and I think when all the hard stuff is over (man those first three weeks are hard) it is going to be great. I am so excited about his first smile, when he sits up, his first real belly laugh, his crawling, when he first says, “Daddy”, when he crawls, his first swimming lesson. When he tells me he loves me for the first time.
It is great having kids…I don’t care what they are going to be like in high school, it is great right now and that is all I care about.

Miley Cyrus to Michael Jackson

Ahhhhhh, the 1st of the month. It is like a spring every 4 weeks - a new season full of potential. This is the business owner's "manic" time, the time when the big bills have been paid and you can take a breath.

Probably going to be a quick write-up today as my dental assistant is sick and I am going to be actually working today (hahaha). It was a nice quiet weekend, an unusual one for us as there were not sporting events that we had to attend. We get about 5 weekends like that a year so we were not exactly sure what to do.

On the mixed blessing front - I had tickets to the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana concert for my daughters this weekend but the concert got rescheduled at the last minute because Miley got sick. We are out of town on the rescheduled date so ...darn...shoot...really I don't get to go...actually a little sad. Oh well, we can't all have "the best of both worlds". Try explaining that to a 4-year-old who has no concept of time - so she had been anticipating this thing for weeks asking if it was just a day away. Then when it gets to be a day away you tell her that it is cancelled.

For some reason the kid's school is closed today so my 8-year-old son asked if he could come into work with me today. How do you say no to that. He is dressed up nice and just 'hangin with dad' today. That always helps keep the voices quiet.

I read a great book this weekend - thanks dad. It is called "The Wheel of Darkness" by Preston & Childs. Excellent action fiction book. I haven't had a book keep me this interested in a while. While we are at it, can I get some comments on the Kindle vs. Paper Book debate. I am a paper book guy. I love my books and cannot imagine reading them on a fancy computer screen. My dad (who was my source of books) is now a Kindle junkie and he loves it. Anybody out there have a thought one way or another - I need to know what to ask for for Christmas.

And speaking of Christmas, my 4-year-old's new phrase is "I want that". Allow me to use it in a sentence to make it more understandable for you. Here is the scene: TV is on, tuned to Disney channel. "Zack and Cody" go to commercial and anything comes on (use your imagination, dolls, crafts, etc.). Cue 4-year-old - "I want that". It happened at least 20 times over the weekend. It got so automatic that it was like she was under a spell.

And while we are talking about commercials, I got the "hey dad what is natural male enhancement" question from my 11-year-old daughter while watching a soccer game on TV. Somehow, I don't think the smartmouthed comments running in my brain would pass the AGD censors, so I will let you fill in the blanks there but thanks Cialis for making my family TV time so enjoyable. Someday maybe that product will go the way of the Today Sponge.

We found a great music station to listen to in the office the past couple of weeks. I get my music via the cable TV that we have in the office so it is commercial free. Usually we do smooth jazz or 80's, depending on the mood. But 2 weeks ago they started a Michael Jackson tribute station that plays old MJ songs as well as songs from artists that inspired him or that he inspired. We are talking Madonna, Paul McCartney, Bobby Brown (pre-Whitney), NKOTB, etc. He may have been a total wack-job but man there was some good music in the 60s, 70s and 80s.


Well, I'm off to work on teeth so the voices better go to sleep. Have a great week!
ric

"The Wheel of Darkness" by Preston & Childs book cover copyrights to Grand Central Publishing

Sunday with the Monkeys II

Hey all,
I am going to get right to it. I have a busy day today and I don't know if I am going to have time to fit it all. If you have not read Wednesday's post stop right now.
You have to read Wednesday's post to understand today's.

http://agdblogs.blogspot.com/2009/09/sunday-with-monkeys.html

Okay now that everyone is up to date I will continue with the story.

I was getting in my car kind of pissed, and I saw a kid I knew (he was in the seventh grade) on his bike. I said, "Hey kid are you going to ride your bike home?"
He said to me, "Maybe!"
Now I just about had it and I said to him, "Excuse me (with a tone like I am about to get up out of this truck and Rambo flat blast you)?"
And he wised up and said, "Yes sir."
I said, "Because I was going to offer you a ride home, and we could put your bike in the back of the truck."
Now it was a lot of, "No thank you sir."
Then I saw a friend I knew who has a couple of boys (one in the seventh grade and one in the ninth) and I told him my stories.
He just shook his head and said, "I know brother, it is something we are going through right now."
I remember a lot about my middle school days and I don't remember being such a punk.
So I marinated on it for a day, and I called the woman that is in charge of the youth group.
I told her the story and I asked her if this was common.
She, of course, said YES.
I asked her how she handles these boys. She said I usually just go home and cry.
Now this is a girl that has spent her whole college education learning about theology.
She probably wanted to do something with kids because "she loves kids."
Don't we all say that, "I just love kids."
She graduated from a Christian college and couldn't wait to get out in the real world and put into practice everything she had learned.
Now I am going to tell you that it is not the Jesus thing. I spent way more years learning about teeth, and I spent many of nights crying because this profession was beating the crap out of me.
See, she didn't have an elementary education degree (which I am sure you have to have to learn about this kind of middle school behavior and you have a year of internship where you see in a class room how kids act) so she doesn't know how to do this.
Now this woman has a huge heart and sounded so deflated on the phone.
She told me that last year was bad. She said that she would start to call parents and ask them to come to class and see how their young man was behaving. She was thinking this would either make the kid behave or show the dad how the kid was behaving and he would step in and whip this kid into shape.
She said the dad would come and then kid would act like a monkey, and the dad wouldn't do anything.
She said that she told some kids not to come back and then the parents would call her up ticked off because they wanted the 2 and a half hour break from THEIR kid.
I was sitting there listening to her in utter disbelief.
I started thinking of solutions to give her, like she hasn't thought of everything.
There is a 7th and 8th grade youth group and a young man runs this.
I asked her if she has ever talked to this guy to see if he could help her. She said he has his hands full with his set of monkeys.
See the class of sixth grader that she gave to him was worse than the set she has now.
See this is not just this class.
Last year, it started kind of the same as this year. The boys were unruly and one of two things would happen...they were asked NOT to come back or they thought there were too many rules and they stopped coming.
So it became a girl's thing.
Now the young lady that is in charge did not want it to be this way. The boys need this too. The boys need a place to hang out. It is not supposed to be like church and Sunday school where they have to sit still and be angels. It is supposed to be a time when they can talk and be with their friends and other kids.
See what would also happen in the boy's group is someone would be different, and they would either bully this kid or make fun of him until he didn't come back.
Now to me, this is sad. Just sad. All of it. The kids...the bullying, the making fun, the bad behavior. The parents...the apathy, the laziness.
Now I am not saying being a parent is easy. I am not saying being a 6th and 7th grade kid is easy. I am not because I know it is not.
But I am just trying to think through this.
I was sitting with my friend who has two children in college, and I started telling him this story. He said, "let me guess" and he ended up telling me the rest of the story.


I said, "how did you know?"


He said, "Things don't change, John. People, kids and parents, don't change."


I was sad before now I am really sad.





Is there nothing we can do as parents to make sure our kid is not a punk?


Now, I remember being a punk, but not that bad. I remember being this shy kid just trying to find myself in a group of punks.


I started to think that I'm paying a lot of money to send my kids to this school (I know I am being naive) so the kids would be different. So the parents would be different.


I want the parents to be engaged. Not just send their kids to school thinking the school is going to raise them. Now I know this happens. I know, probably more because there is some entitlement when it comes to paying tuition.


(Now I am not harping on my school, because we really do love it and love the people and what it brings to our home.)


But if the kids are going to be the same at a public and private school why am I wasting my money?


I know it is not the school.





I just don't know the answer.


But I am learning. Kids are kids. They need parents. They need direction.


They also are hormonal and need an outlet.


They need people to love them. They need to know that we understand they are going through a change in their body that makes them do weird stuff.


But there still has to be consequences for their actions. Even if we, as parents and teachers, hate enforcing the rules.


Acting like an idiot can sometimes be overlooked, but being mean to someone can't be tolerated. Being disrespectful to adults will not be tolerated.


And we all MUST know that everyone is made in the image of God.


Punk-ass kids are. Parents are. Teachers are. Youth group facilitators are.


The nerdy kid is most definitely is. And we all, they all have treat and to be treated as such.





I finished my conversation with the youth group leader, and I told her I was going to help her.


I don't know how I am going to help her, but I am going to.


If it is that I have to bring a couple of dads and hang out in the classroom.


If it is to get all the dads together to talk about our kids. I don't know.


I know I will be there on Sunday.


Sometimes I think that is the answer. Just being there.





If you have any suggestions, I am open.





Well we are 9 days from the official due date of our new son.


Our last kid, Noah, came 2 weeks early and he was 8 pounds 12 oz.


So we are on pins and needles at our house. Our bag is packed. Our whole house looks like a nursery. But so far no baby. I will keep you posted.


If the baby comes this week, well the blog might just be some photos.


Have a great weekend.


I am running 16 miles tomorrow.


My marathon is on Thanksgiving Day weekend.


That is only 7 weeks away. (That means Christmas is only 11 weeks away. Are you kidding me?)





john