Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Under the Knife

Hey all,

Okay, this week Luke had me laughing.
Now you may know Luke is 10. He is my complainer. He is always complaining about something or someone.
I guess he might get it from me.
But we are driving in the car going to church on Sunday, and we see a family that we know in front of us. And we are commenting on the people in the car and how the kids are growing up and all three of them are squished in the back seat.
We are mentioning all the kids by name and age, and when we get to the youngest kid in the car, who is Luke's age, he has some comment about them. He say something about how this person is a pain or something like that.
Then we start giving him a hard time about not liking anyone. Then we say, "What do you think people would say about you if they were looking in our car?"
He thought about it a second and said, "There is Luke. He is so awesome!" He wasn't kidding.
I was going to say that it's great how kids think of themselves. They think they are the best and that they are so awesome and that everyone must love them. But I think we all think of ourselves this way.
"There is John. He is so awesome!"

I finished the book The Help. It was very good.
I started Donald Miller's (he wrote Blue Like Jazz) new book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I know it is going to be a quick read. I really like his witty humor and style.
I think it is about how he edited his life. I am just getting into it, but he has been asked to take one of his books about himself and write a screenplay from it. This time make it "less boring."
So I think it is going to be a funny way of "living your life to the fullest."
And next on the list is The Last Lecture. This is about a guy who is a professor at Carnegie Melon University who lectures for a living. He had a lecture planned about "how to get the most out of life" (or something like that) and found out before the lecture that he had 3-6 months to live. So he had to give his last lecture. He was 41 years old. I am looking forward to that.

I watched The Hangover again. My wife and I saw it at the theater and we laughed. We saw it again on Sunday night and we laughed all over again. You think the movie is going to be really sophomoric and crude, but it really isn't (except at the very very end). It is just funny.

I heard Avatar was "so awesome" or "the best movie I have ever seen" from a couple of my peeps at church. So with that filter I took Luke out with one of his friend to see it (Luke received an awesome report card, so we went to Steak-n-Shake and he got to see a movie).
Well the movie was good, but it wasn't for a 10 year old. There was a lot "G.D.s" and "Jesus." There was a "mating" scene and a lot of violence. It wasn't that bad, but when I am concerned about what my son is watching I can't enjoy it.
Then, of course, there is a nation of people that worship a tree and their whole life is sustained because they are one with the tree. So we had to have a discussion in the car about how trees are good but NOT our God. And I had to hear a lot of "I know dad" and "I get it dad."

Now is the time to turn off your TV sets if you are squeamish at all. If you don't like talking about body parts scroll to the top and hit the "X".
I am going to talk about my trip to the Urologist and what's like to be on the other end of a procedure.

First, I will tell you why.
My wife and I are both 40. Is that the only reason? No.
My wife and I have 4 awesome children (most days at least 3 of them are awesome). Is that the reason? No
Our last kid took us 3 years to have and let me tell you it was a miserable experience (two babies dying in utero and nine very long nail-biting months to have David). Is that the reason? No.
But if you put them all together, I thought I wanted to have this done.
I love kids, and if they didn't cost any money or if it wasn't a big deal that I was 80 years old at their high school graduation I would have a bunch more but....
My wife said she would go along with any decision I made.
I made my decision (it also helped that I had already paid my $4800 deductible for the year and the procedure was going to be "free").
So the decision was made.
I run with 3 urologists. I just had to pick which one I wanted to handle this delicately.
I picked the one that was young (2 years out of school), passionate, and hungry and very nice.
I would have preferred some more years under his belt, but he seemed to be the most like me.
Passionate and willing to take the time to do it right. And I thought he would care the most for me and my delicate parts.
So I called him up and told him that he was going to be the chosen one. He told me about the procedure, and he asked if I was sure I didn't want one of his partners to do it (he works in a group of 12).
I said, "Why would I want anyone else to do it."
He said, "Because if you have a problem with me taking care of your junk (his words not mine)."
I said, "Listen, you are a urologist. You have seen so much junk that anything that I have is not going to be something you haven't seen before."
He said, "Sadly, you are right."
I mean, the guys works on penises (or is it peni) all day long. I hope mine looks like the rest of them. If I am going to do it, I am going to do with a guy I know and like. I bring this philosophy to my practice as well. I want my patients to like me and respect what I do so that they know I will do the best work I can for them.
This brings me to the day of the appointment. I have a 4:15 pm appointment.
Remember this my Christmas break so I had lots of shopping to do. I have a normal day.
I am not really thinking about it. I know I have to be home to get a shower in and leave enough time to be there early.
The office is like the Taj Mahal for vasectomies. It is so nice.
I was called back in a couple of minutes. I see all the guys I know from running and they all say hello and give me the "I know what you are here for" smile.
I was escorted into the room by a male nurse.
Okay, so here is the thing. To you, the patient, this is something you are nervous about, you are nervous about the shot, you are nervous about the post-op. You are nervous about exposing your "junk" to people you don't know.
But to them, it is like a walk in the park. You walk in, they exchange pleasantries with you and tell you to get naked. No big deal to them. I am a little embarrassed, but remember I am on Valium and I don't care that much.
I am lying on my back and he puts a patient napkin over my junk, then rips a hole in the patient napkin and pulls everybody through.
I am thinking, is this really happening? This is just standard procedure.
Then my doctor walks in. Iodines me up and gets to work.
Okay so how do you think an anesthetic shot for a vasectomy feels?
I had my root planings done a month ago or so, and I tell you being on the other side of the needle in your mouth makes you empathize more for your patients. It makes you a better dentist.
But I lose all my empathy, when people are getting an injection in their vestibule and saying they feel it, because now I have had two shots in my most sensitive area.
So he is doing his thing, and he is talking to me about running and Gator sports. And all this time you can tell he is doing something but I am not able to feel it.
He finishes up and goes to the other side of the room. By now they have taken everything off me, I am still lying on my back and they have put a 4 x 4 piece of gauze over the body part of the moment.
The doctor walks out and it is me and the nurse again.
He tells me to get dressed and gives me my instructions.
So I put on my underwear, then my compression underwear (which they require you to have) and my jeans, OH and my bag of ice.
I am thinking it went pretty good. I mean he did some clamping when it wasn't numb but he quickly rectified that situation. I went back out feeling pretty good. I saw all my friends and joked about going home and loving on the wife and then wobbled to the car.
I went home thinking things were going to be a breeze.
Well I will tell you about being home on Friday.

Have a great Wednesday,

I noticed we have some readers in some other countries. I am interested in one of you writing a blog entry for us telling us what dentistry is like in your country. We would love to hear from you. If you are interested can you please write me at Jgammichia@aol.com


Anonymous said...

So did you take it easy after your procedure or run around like HeMan and the swell up with some bowling balls in between? LOL

gatordmd said...

You will have to tune in tomorrow for that information.


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