Post-op

Good Friday to you,

Don't have much going on. Now that I am not coaching I just sit back and be critical of all the other coaches. Oh my gosh it is so much easier.

I forgot to tell you on Wednesday that I did end up running last week.
It was 34 degrees and raining. I tell you that I hated it and loved it.
I hated the cold. I hated that my nose hurt and my fingertips hurt. But I loved that I was doing it.
I loved that I was disciplined enough to do it. I love that I love running so much to do it.
My wife thinks I am crazy, and I have to agree sometimes but I guess I haven't told her that I just like running.

Okay, I will get right to it.
If you just happened to come across this blog and you are just checking it out for the first time...well, I am sorry for what you are about to read. Yes this a dental blog, but sometimes we stray.
This blog is straying in a monumental way.
Keep reading. I am sure we will talk about teeth soon.
But today is going to be a following up on Wednesday's blog which was about my trip to the Urologist to have my vas deferens tied off.
Okay if you are not up to date, go back and read Wednesday's blog and then come back. Go. Go now... we will wait.
So I got home. I was in no pain.
My friend, who was the urologist, warned me of my feeling good and then doing too much.
I had my surgery on December 29th, smack dab in the middle of bowl season. I am no fool.
I did, however, plan a dinner at my house with my periodontist and his wife.
I thought it would be okay.
It was fun. They made fun of me, and we laughed a lot about it.
After they left I went straight to bed.
It was a little difficult to sleep just because I was afraid of hurting something.
The next day was a lazy day. I sat around a lot. I was able to get out and walk around, but really I am a pretty good patient.
But for the first full day I did not want to see what was going on down there.
But I had to come to terms with what was going on when I took my shower.
The incision was less than a centimeter long. I know there was one stitch in there, and I would be very surprised if there was two. But now everything is black and blue, and I mean everything, and swollen.
I remembered my urologist telling me stories of hematomas and out-of-control swelling. This is when it is not good to be friends with your doctor.
So I am looking down there, and it is black and blue and swollen. So I called him. I asked, "when you were telling me stories of "vasectomies gone bad", how black and blue is bad and how swollen is swollen?"
He talked me through it. He asked me if I was in any pain. I was in no pain but just concerned.
He said things sound very normal.
So for the next couple of days I took it easy. The bruising slowing went away, but I was swollen for 10 days or so.
You know being swollen down there is not that big of a deal until you sleep and roll over or if you are just talking and forget that you are only 4 days post-surgery and try to cross your legs.
HELLO.
So I had a post-op appointment 6 days after surgery.
Luckily, I had the same male nurse.
He was very nice and again very matter of fact when it came to male nakedness.
I walk in and he starts asking me about how I am doing and tells me to drop my drawers like it was nothing.
"What? Now!"
"Yeah, now. That is what we are here for."
So there I am again, naked as a jaybird, talking to him like it was nothing.
He tells me everything looks good. I get dressed.
Now the sample cups come out.
He is talking like we are talking about sports.
He says you are going to have to take a log of my "evacuations," (he used the more technical "E" word). I am trying to be cool. I am trying to act like this conversation is so normal.
So then he says if I participate in any "manual activity" (again, he used the more technical "M" word) you have to keep record of it.
WHAT?!!! Wo, wait a minute. Now you have stepped over the line.
We are not talking about the "M" word.
I was trying to be cool with the "E" word, but now you start with that.
That's the line and you just JUMPED over it buster.
He goes on to say that he needs the 21st sample and the 30th sample.
He explains, "You see there apparently is active sperm still in the system, and it will stay there for awhile. So you need two clean samples before we give you the all clear.
He is still talking as if he is talking about the weather.
Then I start thinking. I have to keep a log. 21st sample? I am 40 years old. Maybe things aren't as active in the bedroom as they were when we were 27 and my wife just had a baby 14 weeks ago and has him attached to her body 24/7, so the frequency might be a little down from that. Such is life.
Now all you 27 year old that are reading this....you will be there.
So sample 21 and 30, I was thinking how long do they keep records here? I wondering to myself if they are going to remember me when I come back with this cup thingy.
I just laughed. I mean these are things we have to go through in life. We get crazy stuff done to our bodies. Vasectomies, face lifts, facial peels, veneers, root canals, bladder lifts (I know about this because I have a staff of 9 women), gum surgery, tooth implants....all this stuff. It ain't fun, and regardless of how much I try to make my patients laugh or try to make them think about something else, it's still probably not that fun. But we have to do it.
And the stuff that we talk about seems so "matter of fact" to us. But you have to remember that sometimes it feels weird to the patient. Sometimes it feels like they are naked as a jaybird and we are explaining uncomfortable and awkward procedures to them as if we're just talking about sports.

What an experience.
Life is going to throw so many lemons at you.
For crying out loud make lemonade.
Have a great weekend.
I hope I made you laugh these two blogs. I know it wasn't about teeth but I was hoping my experience would make us closer.

Have a great Friday.
John

Next week, we are going to have a student write a blog entry. I was thinking that it would be nice to get a different perspective.
And in February, Black History Month, I am working on setting up an interview with an African-American Dentist. I want to know more and I want you to know more about people. I think this would be a good start.
If you have ever wanted to know more about the African-American culture and were too shy to ask....send me your questions at Jgammichia@aol.com